100 we didn't know last year

Happy New Year! The BBC has comprised a list of 100 interesting facts you probably didn't know in 2006. Some of my favorites are:

3. Urban birds have developed a short, fast "rap style" of singing, different from their rural counterparts.

7. The lion costume in the film Wizard of Oz was made from real lions.

32. Barbie's full name is Barbie Millicent Roberts.

45. Cows can have regional accents, says a professor of phonetics, after studying cattle in Somerset

64. Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobiacs is the term for people who fear the number 666.

Crazy woman castrates man with bare hands on Christmas

I don't know what to think about this article on USA today I just read.

It reports that at a holiday party in North Carolina a fight broke out between drunken friends. But one of the friends, lets call her Crazy Woman, got very very angry with one of the men present.

Crazy Woman precedes to attempt to rip off the man's balls with her bare hands.

The story ends with the man getting 50 stitches and the woman going to jail for "malicious castration" and damaging a police car.

Happy New Year!

How evil is Google

Almost year ago Google gave into the commies and started censoring its google.cn site to satisfy the Chinese. They also turned over records of who in China searched for words like "democracy" and "china sucks", so that the Chinese government agents go knock on those peoples' doors and have a "chat."

This is especially interesting since Google's motto used to be "Don't be evil." Now Google has a new corporate philosophy.

Google cares so much about getting on the Chinese's good side because it is getting its ass kicked by Baidu. That site is the major Asian competitor to Google that is extremely popular according to Alexa. And since Google can't buy out a competitor like Baidu in the way they bought YouTube, Google is now playing nicely with the government that doesn't like its citizens googling Tiananmen Square.

Until Google (who is kindly hosting this very blog) shuts me down, lets all watch Google together.

I'm talented

Today I did something I've never done before. I sneezed and farted at the same time.

I didn't even realize something like that was possible. It felt wild.

Leave comments if you've got a better talent than that.

3d Art Day

I'm not sure how this works, but this 3d animated image of a Tyrannosaurus Rex crashing through the Jurassic Park movie logo looks freaking good for a two frame GIF image.

So I'm declaring today 3d Art day to commemorate.

Little known fact: T Rex wasn't the biggest scary predator millions of years ago. That title goes to Tarbosaurus, his Asian cousin. And neither one was nearly as horrific as Liopleurodon.

Christmas killed iTunes

Merry Christmas to all, except Steve Jobs.

It turns out that so many people recieved iPods this Christmas, that it crashed Apple's iTunes Store.

Given that iTunes' website probably has a pretty heafty budget behind it, the amount of traffic needed to bring it down must have been pretty hefty. Its safe to say that the iPod won the prize as the most popular gift this year.

Bob Ross is awesome

I still think Bob Ross is cool. From his style of using very simple brush strokes and sponges to created amazing landscapes to his "I don't give a shit I'm white I'm still wearing an afro every day" attitude. Everyone who has ever watched his show reacts the same way to his painting style:

1:00 Minute into program - "Hmm ok I think I know where he's going with this..."

2:00 - "Hey that mountain looks nice..."

4:00 - "That looks awesome! I'm sure he's done now... wait what is he doing? A tree right there? NO, you IDIOT you ruined it!"

4:30 - "That doesn't look like a tree. It looks more like what came out of my ass after Taco Bell last night. You suck Bob."

4:45 - "Bob why did you... wait, whoa he saved it ... how did he do that? This is the best painting ever..."

5:00 - "A cloud? NO BOB NO YOU JUST RUINED IT AGAIN ARGGGH..."

And repeat over again and again until the program is over. Its awesome.

Good Luch

Chinese restaurants are really slacking on the quality of fortune cookie fortunes lately.

What is "luch"? Is this a misspelling of "luck", or did they mean I would be showered with good "lunch"?

If Chuck Norris was an Optician...

... he would be this guy. Stupidest thief ever tries to rob a eyeglass store that's run by a Karate instructor.

And the clerk at this same store is a body builder.

And no one had to dial 911 after the thief was "detained" (read: beat the shit out of) by the black belt owner, because the local police station is across the street from the store.

Full story on the TimesDispatch.

The Fags play good music

Listening to Pandora tonight, and I hear a new song on my "Our Lady Peace" channel that I like. I go to give it the thumbs up when I notice the bands name: The Fags.

I'm not making this up, click the picture to see a screenshot I took of Pandora.

I'm assuming the band is British, because cigarettes are commonly called "fags" over there. That would explain the album cover art and the title "Light 'em up".

My parents won't be happy when I tell them that I like The Fags this Christmas.

Virgin birth .... of a dragon?

Right in time for the holiday celebrating a human virgin birth, this lonely Komodo dragon is ready to do the same. The reptile that lives in an British zoo has never mated, but has managed to impregnate herself.

I've never heard of spontaneous fertilization before, but apparently it has been known to happen before in lizards. But this is really news because this dragon is now the largest known animal to have demonstrating "a nature finding a way".

This is stranger than the time my pet frogs spontaneously changed genders on me. Poor transsexual frogs, they were very confused after that.

World's tallest man saves dolphins

So strange it has to be true.

Last Thursday an aquarium in Beijing called in the help of the worlds tallest man - standing at 7 feet 9 inches - to save the lives of two dolphins. Seriously.

The dolphins had swallowed some pieces of plastic which could not be dislodged by conventional tools or instruments. The scientists at the scene determined the only way to safely remove the plastic was to have someone reach into the dolphins stomach through their mouth and pull the objects out.

But no one had arms long enough - more than 40 inches needed - except for one man: Bao Xishun. The giant from Mongolia was flown in and successfully removed the plastic from inside the dolphins.

Now if we could just find the super villain who crammed the plastic down the dolphins throat....

Read more at BBC or Yahoo.

IBM and Circuit City take Second Life seriously

IBM and Circuit City have opened up shop in the virtual world of Second Life. Big Blue seems to be taking this game a lot more seriously than I do.

Photo gallery of this courtesy of CNet.

Wii have a problem!!!

I don't have a Nintendo Wii, but sites like this one make me wish even more that I did. Everyone by now has heard of the controversy that the Wii's gyroscopic controller is more dangerous than it seems because of a very weak wrist strap. But you probably haven't seen the gory and bloody results a broken Wii strap.

The Wii Have A Problem chronicles what happens when people with too much energy and not enough common sense hurt themselves and destroy their TV's with the Wii remotes.

I think this is more evidence that Nintendo will regain dominance over the video game console market. Here is proof that people are enjoying playing the Wii so much that they are actually losing control of themselves in the fun. You won't see anyone jumping around crashing into things playing the PS3.

Word of caution: Apparently the most dangerous place to be when playing the Wii is behind and to the right of a woman playing the tennis game. There is something called the "dreaded female backhand" that has claimed many bloody noses.

Greatest Flowchart Ever

I really could have used this flowchart at my last job working. It seriously makes so much more sense than the process diagrams we were actually using. Ah, the joys of working a tech support help desk...

With all the tech outsourcing going on, I wonder if there is a version of this in Hindi. Ten life points to anyone who translates this flowchart and posts it as a comment below.

Truthiness wins over Falsiness

It's official, "truthiness" is now a real word according to Websters Dictionary (despite the fact my spell check is freaking out about the word right now). This word was first coined by Steven Colbert on his first Colbert Report show last year.

Now that truthiness is the word of the year, everyone seems to be using it. The fake news seems to be more popular and interesting than the real news.

Link to MSNBC and CNN celebrating this news.

Condoms too big for Indians?

Must be a slow day over at the BBC. Apparently someone did a study measuring more than a thousand Indian men's dongs (not many jobs worse than that) and found that condoms in the country were too large for most Indian men.

Did you hear that? That was the sound of 900 million egos being busted.

Full article here.

Cubicle Wars

Don't be surprised if your co-workers productivity goes way down this holiday season with toys like this available. There are several other remote controlled USB dart launchers out there, but this one for sale on ThinkGeek looks the best.

Bonus nerd idea: attach a webcam and a laser pointer to the dart launcher for ultimate accuracy and time wasting fun!

Grand Theft Auto for smart people

This article at Tech Digest suggests that Grand Theft Auto isn't just for overweight and under active button smashing kids. Apparently it has significant cultural and social metaphors hidden between scenes.

I personally love playing open ended games like this, but I never noticed any underlying messages in GTA. Make sure its not right before your read this brain candy, its got quite a few four syllable words that might need a visit to a dictionary to understand.

Open this Pandora's box

Pandora is an interesting internet radio site worth checking out. Instead of other traditional or interent radio stations, this one is more interactive.

You first start out by creating your own radio station by telling Pandora an artist or song you like. It then uses a room full of a hundred monkeys with typewriters to determine similar songs and genres you might like. You can easily give your new station feedback by giving the song a thumbs up or thumbs down. If its thumbs up, Pandora will find more songs like it to stream to you. If you don't like it, the monkeys are punished. Bad monkeys.

The site is free with banner ads (no audio ads!) or you can buy an advertisement free version.

Hopefully sites like this will contribute to the downfall of big business record labels and the RIAA controlling mainstream music.

Who needs Wii when there is Trogdor?

I played Trogdor again yesterday. After more than two years the game play still hasn't gotten old.

There's tons of Trogdor links and Trogdor related silliness out there by now, including two wikis on the dragon (from Wikipedia and HomeStarRunnerWiki) and his own clothing line.

I'll save all the Peasant's Quest references for another time, as that game deserves a post all by itself.

I figured making it to the 20th level was enough of an achievement to warrant a screenshot. Anyone got screenshots of a higher level?

Detailed Analysis of Britney Spears' vagina

Everyone has heard about Britney Spears' flashing paparazzi cameras without underwear. And everyone who has seen the uncensored photos is wishing they hadn't.

Yes they are real, they are not photochoped fakes. Altered photos would have been much more flattering to her no-no place. In a few angles C-Sections scars are also noticeable, which serves as an unsettling reminder that her two kids will have to deal with these antics one day.

Why did she do this? Possible explanations could include Britney being trashed (drunk or stoned, because we've already seen both) to her trying to make K-Fed jealous.

The strange thing about this is that she did this more than once. You can't really chalk this up as a "youthful discretion" when you flash your taco to the cameras three days a week. Is Britney intentionally trying to re-make her image into that of a trashy-slutty-has-been?

Let's review the key events and bad decisions that led up to this awful day in American pop-culture history:

Dec 1981 - Britney is born, and thankfully there are no paparazzi around to photograph her naked.

Summer 1999 - "Hit me baby one more time" starts the ball rolling on her highly sexualized performances at the mature age of 18.

August 2003 - Britney and Madonna kiss live on stage. Christina Aguilera also kisses Madonna, but for some reason MTV didn't want to show that and cut to a reaction shot from Justin Timberlake instead.

Jan 2004 - Marries and quickly divorces childhood friend as a joke. Haha, funny!

Sept 2004 - Marries Kevin Federline. We all thought this was a joke too.

Nov 2006 - After giving birth to two children, she's in the news every week for almost dropping them in public or not using car seats. She divorces K-Fed by text message.

Today - Paris Hilton's evil influence on her causes her to remove her underwear and/or pants before entering a low slung Lamborghini.

Ten years from now - Britney Spears is elected President of the United States after single handedly defeating an alien invasion from Neptune. And then she flashes her mango again for the cameras.