If Chuck Norris was an Optician...

... he would be this guy. Stupidest thief ever tries to rob a eyeglass store that's run by a Karate instructor.

And the clerk at this same store is a body builder.

And no one had to dial 911 after the thief was "detained" (read: beat the shit out of) by the black belt owner, because the local police station is across the street from the store.

Full story on the TimesDispatch.