Most Super Robot Man

Friday, August 17, 2007

Cheney has been cloned!

This video clip of our good pal Cheney as Secretary of Defense in 1994 has become very popular, its definitely a must see. Thirteen years ago Cheney explained why invading and occupying Iraq would be a bad move for the US and how it would turn the entire middle east into a quagmire:



I'm seriously worried that maybe Cheney was a victim of an alien clone switch like in the movie "Invasion of the Body Snatchers".

Link to discussion of the video on Hard Ball.

China doesn't want you to read this

I think China is pissed at me again. They are cracking down on “false news reports, unauthorized publications and bogus journalists”, and of course China considers itself the ultimate authority to define what actually is false, unauthorized or bogus.

One "false" report was the cardboard food article I mentioned a few days ago. China is protecting its citizens from such dangerous news by throwing the journalist responsible for the story in jail.

Quote:

"The crackdown, confirmed by the government’s official web site, comes after a television journalist was given a one-year prison sentence and a $130 fine on Sunday for allegedly fabricating a story about Beijing dumpling makers that were said to use cardboard as filler."

Maybe August 15th should be declared Chinese News Repression day.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Nose Jobs Turn Female Mice Into Sex Machines

FOX News (who else) is reporting that a new study proves that female mice become much more sexually active after receiving nose jobs.

Now if only this was true for humans... *sigh*

The science behind it has something to do with increasing the amounts of pheromones the females pick up. Quote:

"The mice began chasing, mounting and thrusting pelvises against other mice, both male and female, as well as giving out ultrasonic mating calls and sniffing derrieres."

Sounds more like rodent spring break to me. Why is anyone studying this anyway? Was cancer research just too boring?

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Man steals library books and sells them

Thomas Pilaar is a criminal genius. He schemed up a plot that seems to be a cross between something the Hamburglar and Cobra Commander would consider: Check out hundreds of books under different names from the library then sell them for profit on Criagslist.

But like most super villians he made a crucial mistake in his evil plans. When he left the library cards in the books he sold and one of his customers reported him, his crafty plot was soon shut down.

Full story here.

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Sunday, August 05, 2007

Cardboard is food in China

If you ever take a trip to Beijing, I suggest not eating the Baozi.

Baozi are a common snack in China, with an outer skin made from wheat or rice flour and a filling of sliced pork. But to cut costs some vendors in China have made the outer skin with cardboard.

"Squares of cardboard picked from the ground are first soaked to a pulp in a plastic basin of caustic soda -- a chemical base commonly used in manufacturing paper and soap -- then chopped into tiny morsels with a cleaver. Fatty pork and powdered seasoning are stirred in."

Yummy! Apparently most people can't taste the difference between the real stuff and cardboard.

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Saturday, August 04, 2007

Please don't Simpsonize me

I watched the Simpsons movie last night, and I think I was left with the same impression everyone else had: It was ok, but I could have waited to see it when it came out on DVD.

Homer asks the audience at the beginning of the movie "Why are we paying to watch this in a theater when we can watch it on TV for free?" Good question, and after the movie was over I still did not have an answer for that. Watching Simpsons on the big screen didn't really add anything more to the Simpsons experience that I hoped it would.

I did check out the Simpons movie website. They have a section where you can upload your own photo and it will "Simponsize" you. This seemed like fun, but it is very picky about what photos it will accept. That avatar on the right is what I would apparently look like in the movie. I seriously hope I don't really look like that. Those squinty eyes are creepy, even for a cartoon...

Now back to me tearing apart the movie just like Maggie tore into Mr. Bubbles (my favorite scene):


The entire movie had this feel about it that is hard to describe. It almost felt like I was watching the last episode of the Simpsons. In fact, that really makes a lot of sense. The Simpsons have been on TV forever, I literally cannot remember them not being on TV. Maybe they made this movie as a way to step closer to ending the series.

There were a lot of funny moments in the movie that made it worth seeing. The overall plot (Homer has to save Springfield, no big surprise) was actually pretty well executed and could have been a lot worse. Although I wasn't bored, I did noticed several people nodding off and falling asleep during this late night showing.


One part of the plot (don't worry, no spoilers here) that I was surprised with was the focus on Homer and Bart's father-son relationship. Or lack thereof. The TV series already made it clear that Homer is the world's worst father figure, but the Simpsons movie hit you over the head with that over and over. Flanders plays a big part in becoming a pseudo-father for Bart, which I found a little weird.


In the end, its a good Simpsons experience that I'm glad I saw, but I could have waited to rent this movie from Netflix or something instead of paying a whopping $10.50 after tax in the theater.


Simpson Movie trailers

Friday, August 03, 2007

Luxury car, crappy bumper

It must suck to realize you paid $40k + for a car that gets damaged easier than FEMA's reputation.

Quote:
"In one case, a Mercedes-Benz C-class sedan sustained almost $5,500 in damage when hit in its front bumper at a speed of just 6 miles per hour."

Jeez, looking at damage on that Mercedes you would think Britney Spears had taken an umbrella to it.

Back in the 1980's cars' front bumpers had to absorb at least a 15 mph force before it transfered any damage to the rest of the cars. In the 90's the law was watered down to only 5 mph to make the cars lighter, cheaper to produce, and to integrate the bumpers behind the body panels. But the fact that luxury cars like this one can't stand up to 1 mph of force more is pretty bad.

And its not just Benz that has this issue, this CNN article also listed the high damage amounts in low speed collisions from cars like Saab, Audi and Lincoln.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Greatest interview ever

Since I posted yesterday about the most awkward interview in the history of the universe, I need to balance things out today.

Please enjoy the greatest interview of all time, thanks to Break.com:



Most Insightful Interview Ever - Watch more free videos


I don't know whats funnier - they way this kid just spouts out something random while wearing Halloween makeup, or the fact that the news reporter doesn't know how to respond to him. BTW this kid is now famous in his home town in Oregon.

"I like turtles" is now the official slogan of things viral, replacing the much overused "lol, internet!" and "Do Not Want" trends.

China attacks America with poisoned toys

Oh, those tricky communists. First it was deadly cat food from China. Then fish products from China turned out to be dangerous. Now the country known for really big walls and really good take out is sending another deadly export our way.

Mattel, the parent company of Fisher-Price, is now recalling almost one million toys that where made in China that were made with lead paint. I guess those commies are really 50 years behind us if they haven't realized lead paint is a tad bit dangerous for kids.

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