Britney Spears is a genius

Britney Spears has to be me most intelligent person on the planet, and I don't think she's getting enough respect.

I decided to wait a few days before making a post about the girl who gets more buzz than free pancake day at IHOP. I didn't want to be one of the almost half million blogs about Britney since her ingenious decision to publicly shave her head.

Some argue that her actions this weekend are a desperate cry for help, but I disagree. I think Britney Spears (whom I am now granting an honorary doctorate in humane studies), knew exactly what she was doing and was carefully executing a complex plan.

Britney Spears (or Dr. Britney Spears as we can now call her) is trying to save the world.

Dr. Spears is well aware of how dangerous and scary the world is today, with constant threats of terrorism, war, global warming, and insane astronauts armed with pepper spray. But Dr. Spears also realizes how much the American public hates to discuss those serious matters and how desperately we need some distractions from the crazy world that could kill us all any moment now.

So she brilliantly executed a plan to make all of us stop talking about Iraq and the environment for a whole week. Thank you, Dr. Spears for giving us a brief reprieve from having to listen to actual news on CNN. Britney Spears is going to save the world by distracting us from how ugly the world actually is.

Now only if she gets a tattoo on her face just like Dr. Mike Tyson, Ph.D did, I might forget about the $8.6 trillion national debt.

Links:

Video of Britney's awesome new wig (it definitely doesn't look stupid)

Britney barefoot at a public restroom (very smart move)

NOT SAFE FOR WORK Britney showing her distaste for panties (underwear is so 19th century)

NOT SAFE FOR WORK Spears gets her own statue ... of her giving birth? (not such a smart move)