Ninjas face massive unemployment

Don't be surprised if you see a ninjas and other assassins asking for handouts on the street. Due to increased competition from cancer, the professional killer market has been taking dramatic layoffs.

Cancer, whose secret weapon is uncontrollable division of cells, has proven to be a tough adversary to ninjas and hitmen. It is estimated that one ninja can kill 3,000 people per hour, but cancer boasts a kill rate of 5,000 per minute.

Cancer also has much more financial backing at its disposal with the support of the tobacco industry. Ninjas, however, don't usually have any finances. As part of the ninja honor code, money is forbidden because they view it as a weakness. They would much rather kill whoever has what they want instead of paying for it.

Many ninjas may be forced to take up other occupations if cancer continues its kill-athon. Despite their extreme agility, patience, focus and speed many ninjas will find it hard to adapt to most nine-to-five jobs due to their tendency to frequently flip out and kill people.

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